I am not so very good at this blogging thing. I post something and then wait months to post again. But recently, I have been pondering a new thought. I am no longer a member of the "mom(my) club".
Funny that this should strike me suddenly NOW. I mean, Steph is 27, Mick is self-supporting (as he proved when he was home for Easter and didn't want or need me to fill his gas tank), David will graduate from college in a week and Tim, the baby, is 20. I have been adjusting to the empty nest idea for years. Looking forward to it, trying to figure out what it means, and now suddenly...Boom, it occurs to me, I am no longer a part of the group. I can't say "yes" I still have children at home when filling out a survey, I don't have a vested interest in the school system.
Mike pointed out that we have lost the "parent radar", last weekend, when we were out for Easter Brunch, if my nieces or nephew had run out into the street...we would have been the last to notice. *I hope like HECK that comes back when we are grandparents (in the future).
I know that I will always be a mom, but I have reached a point at which I have also "let go". I want the best for them, am willing to be a resource, but the buck no longer stops here. I love my adult children, but they are no longer the center of my universe. There was an understanding in my marriage that the children come first, we "created" them and owed them our best. Now, I am free to re-focus the center of my universe, my marriage, my career, my own growth and self-improvement.
I know many other parents who do not make the same re-adjustment, honestly, I feel more sorry for their adult children than I do for them. The idea that no one is a worthy partner for the (adult)child. *EXCUSE me, if I raised you as right as I could, then you should be capable of picking your own partner. If I don't agree it's my bad.
This all makes so much sense in my head, and I just don't know if I am expressing it right.
Funny that this should strike me suddenly NOW. I mean, Steph is 27, Mick is self-supporting (as he proved when he was home for Easter and didn't want or need me to fill his gas tank), David will graduate from college in a week and Tim, the baby, is 20. I have been adjusting to the empty nest idea for years. Looking forward to it, trying to figure out what it means, and now suddenly...Boom, it occurs to me, I am no longer a part of the group. I can't say "yes" I still have children at home when filling out a survey, I don't have a vested interest in the school system.
Mike pointed out that we have lost the "parent radar", last weekend, when we were out for Easter Brunch, if my nieces or nephew had run out into the street...we would have been the last to notice. *I hope like HECK that comes back when we are grandparents (in the future).
I know that I will always be a mom, but I have reached a point at which I have also "let go". I want the best for them, am willing to be a resource, but the buck no longer stops here. I love my adult children, but they are no longer the center of my universe. There was an understanding in my marriage that the children come first, we "created" them and owed them our best. Now, I am free to re-focus the center of my universe, my marriage, my career, my own growth and self-improvement.
I know many other parents who do not make the same re-adjustment, honestly, I feel more sorry for their adult children than I do for them. The idea that no one is a worthy partner for the (adult)child. *EXCUSE me, if I raised you as right as I could, then you should be capable of picking your own partner. If I don't agree it's my bad.
This all makes so much sense in my head, and I just don't know if I am expressing it right.
Theresa Comer
"The mind is like a parachute, it works best when open"
"The mind is like a parachute, it works best when open"
I think you are expressing it just fine. I don't think there will ever be a day when I get to lose the mommy radar, because by the time Damien is finished producing grandchildren for me, the girls will probably be starting... maybe I'll have a couple of years off, who knows.
ReplyDeleteI thought your radar was on just fine though, when we went to the zoo. Right on par with mine (for what that's worth).