It suddenly struck me...in the midst of the holidays. When my youngest is a 19 yo, returning home to finish college, and my oldest is a 26 yo MMR young woman who is now engaged and there are 2 in between, I suddenly realized of all the oxymora in life, the most important is the concept of an adult child. You can't be both, you can not treat your offspring as both.I was never more furious with my mother-in-law as I was the one time she spoke to me as if I were a child (even finding out that she threatened to boycott our wedding did not enrage me to the same degree*). Of all of the many and varied issues that my mother and I faced off on, the bottom line was whether I was an adult or her child.I was, in fact, a child when I married - only 19 years old (well, I turned 20 in less than 2 months). But I was also a mother, a wife and in 9 months time started to deal with the trials, tribulations and joys of being the mother of 2. Through my 20+ years of marriage, my in-laws have treated my husband and myself as adults, for better or for worse, etc. And that has made all of the difference.Can you be a "child" and a parent? Probably a complete separate topic for discussion. Adults can and, if they are wise, do ask for assistance when they need it. I was not a parent to my daughter, not only during the time I lived with my mom, but for the years after that I differed to her when it came to any issues of importance.*I must say, knowing that my MIL at one point threatened not to come to our wedding did not enrage me at all...I understood where she was coming from, and while I was all-the-more in love with my husband-to-be for his reaction, I did not blame her for the attempt and could see myself taking the same stance.
Theresa Comer
"The mind is like a parachute, it works best when open"
"The mind is like a parachute, it works best when open"
